“i miss you”

Biintigen miinawaa, Welcome again,

Once again, a chi-miigwech to CBC Superior Morning for debuting the new releases for the upcoming album, “and then…”. I’m a big fan of CBC, and they were the first to ever play my music, so I am feeling respect and gratitude for their support, and for all of you who are coming to watch, listen and follow along with the release. The entire album will be available digitally in December.

Four weeks ago, we released “Warrior’s Lullaby” (you can read the blog here).  An emotional for so many. I want to add here, that I will NOT be making funds/revenue on this song or on an upcoming song “Crying Bones”. Should there be any funds off of these two songs, we will donate the full amount to an organization that is dedicated to using full donated funds to reconciliation efforts. We are currently working on finding the right organization to donate to. Two weeks ago, we released “Listen to the Waves” (read the blog here.) This one is light and fluffy…. written on my honeymoon.

This week we release “i miss you. This song brings so much emotion to the core. I truly find it one of my most beautiful songs I’ve ever written, but it was born for for such a heartbreaking reason. A good friend of mine lost one of her children in an unexpected, sudden and deeply devastating way. I could never imagine losing my son, Rex. I thought about people I lost, about the mothers who mourn their children, lovers who mourn their partners, friends who mourn their friends … that paralyzing feeling of loss that grips you to the core and leaves you frozen in time as time rushes by. The feelings of loss palpable and everything becomes hard… breathing, eating, sleeping, being awake. Everything reminds you of the person you loss… the clouds, the breeze, the hallway they walked down. Every second is spent thinking about them… when you wake, sleep, blink, work.

You miss them with every inch of your fibre, with every waking moment, and life seems to stop and stand still; tears start flowing like rivers when you don’t expect them, the thought of seeing other people doesn’t feel right, and you just never know when you will break down again. Life feels frozen in time, and your heart is so empty that you feel that hollow pit in your stomach that seems as big as the universe. I am not sure if you have ever felt this way… I  maybe almost felt this as a little girl when I lost my brother. He didn’t die, but we were separated, my sister and I put into foster care, and he stayed with my grandmother. We were no longer allowed to speak, see each other, or in any way be aware of each others existence. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. I can only imagine that those feelings of loss were the smallest fraction of the pain of losing a child.

I recently attended a funeral for a young person. To see the paralyzed grip of sorrow in the friends and family of this person was beyond heartbreaking to see, and my feelings were not even remotely comparable to those who were close to this person.

“i miss you” is a simple song that brings the guitar in like a chug which signifies life continuing on, but the lyrics locking the person into that moment in time.


Vanessa Willow Giiniw-Ikwe

The artwork is a special story too. If you have been following this album release, you will remember taht I’m doing a slow release on the music and a slow release on the artwork too. Sonya Belisle completed the artwork on the first 2 songs. Vanessa Willow Giiniw-Ikwe completed this releases addition and will be doing the next 2 as well. I told the artists that I didn’t want to know what they were doing, and I did’t want to add my input; I wanted them to truly have their own thoughts and interpretations of the songs through their art. It will be interesting for me (and hopefully all of you!) to see how this album artwork progresses through the songs.

When Vanessa added to the artwork for “i miss you“, I was not expecting what she envisioned. She added a young girl in the background behind the Elder’s let shoulder. This was to represent the Elder missing her younger self, the loss of youth, a ghost from the past. It was so beautiful and really reminded me how songs can mean so many things to different people. Vanessa is just this beautiful soul that sees the world in such a different light. Much like Sonya Belisle, her spirit is genuine, full of love and life, and just really knows how to feel life in such an amazing way.

Well, I thank you all for reading this little post, and I so much appreciate you watching, listening and sharing… 🙂 The next song that will be released is, “These Days”.

If you would like to be on a mailing list for the songs as they come out, please feel free to send me an email to shyanne.leah@gmail.com and I will send you the next blog post with the “These Days” release and video. Vanessa Giniw-Ikwe will once again be the next artist for this song. So excited to see how the album art evolves with the song releases!